Stinky Boone - the Beastie o' Galloway

Stinky Boone  

'Stinky Boone!'
    The cauld moon moans
'He'll eat yae meat
    An' suck yae bones'

On the westlin coast o' Galloway
Ye'll hear 'em tell o' sound
Tha' creep along on doolful nights
When nae a soul's around  

The lowland sky's a-darklins
An' the eerie night hangs deep
There's danger i' yae strollings
An' there's terror i' yae sleep  

For an auld an' awnie beastie
Dwells aneath tha' reekie lan
Wi' his nasty bow-houghed bitchie
An' his hiltie-skiltie clan  

For all his bairns an' weanies
Were a-spunkied fro his sinnes
An' their weird asklentie facies
Wi' their drouthy bluidy grins  

Speak a tale o' sliddry horrors
An' foul feasties in the gloom
Where poor wayfarers ha' fallen
To their mucky sucky doom  

'Stinky Boone!'
    The cauld moon moans
'He'll eat yae meat
    An' suck yae bones' 

Up a-boon the leafy lowland
An' a-back the coastway road
Sits a black an' bauckie cavehole
Tha' the wary will a-bode  

For i' the glum an' grotty sleekies
Of tha' cock-a-bendy nook
The bad Boone clan squats a-broody
Sniffing them the road forsook  

Lapping on their bluidy pouts
The ghastly Boones a-beg their meats
Looking to their Daddie Stinky
Give the say 'tis time for eats  

An if ye be tha' silly billie
Or tha' luckless leddie dear
Who ha' wannered far too fooly
Where the Fient himself lulls near  

Then ye'll ken nae but the cudgel
An' those bitey weanies' gabs
As they drack ye to the cavey
An' they rope ye on the slabs  

'Stinky Boone!'
    The cauld moon moans
'He'll eat yae meat
    An' suck yae bones'

First they'll futch off all yae gizzies
Then they'll clankie wi' yae braxies
While they're skelping in yae fissle
They'll be strunting off yae knacksies  

Some'll grape hold o' yae gawkies
An' kleep 'em halfway up yae clinkie
Till they jauple out yae scrimpit
Where the wee ones strunt yae thrinkie  

An' yae goolies an' yae staggies
Will all cruntle 'cross yae snotzies
Drippling fodgel on yae knaggies
While they fledgle doon yae botchies  

An' they'll keckle an' they'll snirtle
An' ye'll be a-breathing still
For tha' bluid nae taste as sweetie
When the meat ha' been a-kill  

But if ye be in luck at all
Ye winna live long for to see
Daddie Stinky an' his bitchie
Settling down to feast on ye  

An' if ye thought yae hell wae ended
Lads an' leddies 'tis far the worst
When the mummie an' the daddie
Come to quen' their bluidy thirst . . .  

'Stinky Boone!'
    The cauld moon moans
'He'll eat yae meat
    An' suck yae bones'

Now the King's men they a-seek him
But they hanna found him yet
All his bluidy bairns an' weanies
Still await the lawe to get  

Deep down i' that bauckie hole
The Boone clan nightly sit an' gnaw
On those sweetie meatie travellers
Who the warnings did'st ignore  

So if ye still must go a-wanner
Be ye a-warned an' dinna stray
Fro' that safely lowland path
On the coast o' Galloway  

'Stinky Boone!'
    The cauld moon moans
'He'll eat yae meat
    An' suck yae bones'


© 2007